INFJ Infatuation and Why It Can Be Dangerous
Through deep imagination giving way to the INFJ’s at-times unrealistic perspective on love, romance and attraction, there’s something to say about their experiences when falling for another person. Whether it be romantic or platonic, this observant type can find themselves unusually drawn to certain people, but why is this infatuation-habit so difficult to manage at times?
INFJ Infatuation and Why It Can Be Dangerous
1. It’s a Rare Occurrence
The thing with INFJ infatuation, in general, is the fact that although optimistic in love and connection, their reserved and distant nature makes true attraction rare to come by. In fact, in reality most INFJs have a love/hate relationship with humanity as a whole.
With deep interest in how the human mind works and learning through other people’s experiences, this introverted type also holds a sense of distrust and hesitation when it comes to the consideration of allowing others in. Normally, true INFJ infatuation comes on when they can sense someone’s real self right at the start. They can’t help but to be drawn in by authenticity, honesty and genuine charm.
However, this can become rather dangerous when another person knows how to use false authenticity to their advantage. And while INFJ’s have a pretty accurate radar when it comes to others depicting a false facade, sometimes their optimism can blur their vision. Which brings us to our next point..
2. They Can Easily Convince Themselves That Certain Things Are Meant to Be
There’s a certain aspect of INFJ infatuation that may be the biggest risk factor of it all. This often-overlooked risk factor is rooted in their beliefs of high power, spirituality, past lives and karmic connections.
Sometimes INFJs can convince themselves that certain meetings and interrelations were destined, and although this intuitive hunch may serve to be undeniably true at times, it can also bring on a captivation towards certain people that may otherwise be overlooked.
In fact, when INFJ’s are subconsciously out of touch with their main cognitive driver, introverted intuition, they can resort to introverted thinking. In this case, their infatuation becomes all the more difficult for the INFJ to understand when the feelings are not reciprocated.
However, when INFJ’s are instead analyzing a new connection through extroverted feeling, in which someone else is desiring the INFJ, this type may absorb those underlying feelings of the other person, taking them on as their own. This can make them feel interested in someone, or even love-struck despite not being able to put a finger on why exactly they feel drawn to them.
3. They Can Experience Obsessive (And Distracting) Thoughts
Through convincing themselves that they were meant to cross paths with someone combined with an undeniable intuitive pull towards someone, INFJs can become engulfed by thoughts of that individual. Due to the INFJ’s habit of becoming fixated on certain topics, recent experiences or potential futures, they can catch themselves putting someone at the forefront of their mental focus.
And while this isn’t always considered toxic, it can end up taking over the INFJ’s entire self-motivation and focus, keeping them from the underlying contentment they’re used to experiencing in their life of solitude.
In fact, sometimes these distracting thoughts can be so intense that it throws the INFJ into a complete introverted intuitive/introverted thinking loop, leaving them disconnected to their external grounding functions.
This mental consumption can serve to be the start to the most important connections the INFJ is meant to have in their lives, yet it can also be a sign that their exaggerated and at-times false perceptions of an individual may be creeping in.
4. Their Infatuation Is Easily Built on False Idealizations
Speaking of exaggerated perceptions, the web-like formation of thoughts and ideas that make up the INFJ’s mind can play it’s part in their infatuation of others. Through their extraverted feeling and sensing functions this personality type accurately observes and files away certain qualities of each person they come into contact with.
And while these observed qualities may be accurate, the INFJ’s introverted cognitive functions of intuition and thinking begin to build on those existing impressions. This is when their infatuation can become rather biasedly-led, forming into idealizations that would fit the INFJ’s expectations and assumptions.
Not only can this end up leading the INFJ into disappointments should their person of interest not meet these biased-rooted expectations, but it can also cause the INFJ to turn a blind-eye on the reality of one’s character.
Not to mention, once the INFJ has assumed one’s character, it can be difficult for them to go back and decipher which qualities they formed through optimism and which qualities were observed and rooted in reality.
5. They Can End Up Attracted to Qualities That Don’t Work in the Long Run
Through awe and fascination, INFJs can feel an undeniable pull to those who stand out. Whether it’s the quiet and mysterious person that excludes themselves from the crowd, or the odd and eccentric type that stands out without trying.. The INFJ can become infatuated by the oddities of the non-average.
However, first impressions can cause the INFJ to fill in the blanks as to how this perceived unconventionalism may play out in other areas of that person's personality and life; which isn’t always accurate.
For example, they say the INFJ and ENTJ make a good match in the first few stages of getting to know one another. With the INFJ becoming captivated by all the traits of the ENTJ that they admire such as their determination and single mindedness, INFJs can feel quickly infatuated.
They feel drawn towards the fact that the ENTJ usually has their own interests, success and social life allowing the INFJ to hold onto their individuality. However, in the long run, these exact traits can leave the INFJ feeling emotionally neglected; leaving the initial infatuation to serve as being rather misleading.
6. They Can End Up Digging Themselves a Hole They Can’t Get Out Of
Speaking of forming connections that ultimately don’t workout in the long run, the INFJ can certainly find themselves in a sticky situation or two within their lifetime due to initial infatuation. When this imaginative and romantic personality type finds someone who piques their interest, they may be surprised by their uncharacteristic ‘gung-ho’ approach to the situation.
After observing and collecting all the information they can about a person, INFJs usually take one of two routes, both having equally difficult potential outcomes. The first route is going overboard with their emotional attachment before the connection calls for it, ultimately becoming far more interested in someone before that someone has had the chance to become genuinely interested in the INFJ.
For the second route, INFJs may find themselves showing too much interest in someone before finding out enough about them; eventually realizing the lack of compatibility before it’s too late. Just as the ENTJ example described in the previous point, once an INFJ has taken the leap to actively gain someone’s attention, it can be a difficult realization when they realize it won’t work.
By trying their best to avoid hurting their feelings while also trying to not lead them on anymore than they already have, an INFJ’s infatuation can lead them to some seriously challenging predicaments.
7. It Can Make Them Feel Completely Out of Control
With extroverted feeling at hand, the INFJ isn’t unfamiliar with feeling out of touch with their emotions. As we mentioned before, the INFJ can absorb the interest that someone else has for them and mirror it in a way that wouldn’t naturally occur.
But, despite flattery and being lusted after, there's nothing that causes this emotional disconnect more than when they can’t rationalize their uncontrollable thoughts of another. Known for maintaining a collected internal balance despite their never-ending thought formations, there’s nothing that sets an INFJ off kilter more than the unignorable and intrusive wonderment for another person.
In fact, feeling out of control is one thing that most perfectionistic INFJs don’t deal with well. With a foggy mind and a recurring focus on a specific topic, an INFJ’s entire life can become out of balance. Truth be told, this is one of the main reasons finding love and connection can feel so overwhelming for the INFJ.
As once they let their floodgates down, the rush of feelings, emotions, thoughts and curiosities that come crashing in can make them feel like they have no time or energy to focus on any other area of life.